My Christmas went pretty well. It was New Year's Eve that sucked for me.

I got sick and it hit me super hard. What happened to make your New Year's eve bad?

Oh, I'm feeling a lot better than earlier. I'm just glad that you care.

Do your best with what?

Thanks for that. But enough about me, let me hear about your problems.

It's a shame you can only be in Philly for so little time - you can't possibly absorb all of it's awesomeness in that short period.

I'm from the Western suburbs (Springfield, DELCO to be exact) but I went to St. Joes for highschool - so I pretty much grew up in the city. I'm looking to go back and work/live in Philly after I'm done with school. What are you doing in Atlanta?

Well, good luck with the move - I hear it can be a somewhat difficult process.

You know......Dogs shouldn't drive, cute as they may be.

I wish I had a cool dog like that. What's his/her name?
I have a ferret and his name is Jack, even though I call him stupid pretty regularly at the top of my lungs.

Well...since it was a one time deal, I guess I can let you slide and not contact the proper authorities. But can I ask, was Sally at least a couteous driver? There's nothing worse than a inconsiderate pooch behind the wheel!

As far as your ferret went. I'm positive that he was unbareably smelly because he didn't have his glands removed and probably wasn't neutered. Jack is nutless and glandless. One or two baths a week with baby shampoo and daily spritzings of anti-funk ferret spray keeps him smelling lemony fresh. Only thing I hate about him is his irrational bathroom habits.

Also, the only reason you say that about babies is cause you don't have one.
I wouldn't give up my little guy for the whole wide world. He's pictured with me in my profile pic.

Ahhhhh.....but did Sally wear her seatbelt and check her mirrors? She wasn't wearing it in the pic! Also, did she cut off any motorist cats or try to plow down any strays?

Now that I know you're a mom. I'm gonna have to edit your link on my page. Standby for a minute.

*goes and edits while Jeopardy music plays*

Ok, I'm back.

Where was I? Oh right. The ferret. How do you know it went to a good home?
How doya know they weren't ferret eaters in disguise or worse ferret felchers/fuckers?!?!!LIKE ZOMG!!!

Well you should feel bad. That poor little stinky ferret has probably had his asshole blown out six ways to sunday by now. Goddamn ferret fuckers!

Also you should really pay closer attention to Sally's driving habits. I hear cops are cracking down on inconsiderate canines behind the wheel. If you catch her road raging. Just quote Bill Murray from Ground Hogs day, "Don't drive angry". I mean he was talking to a ground hog at the time, but I think Sally could benefit from the advice as well.

You look like Hillary Clinton but not a bitch.

I remember being that young and completely spazzing out on christmas, hehehe.

I want cake.

Do you have a preference?

I was thinking maybe double chocolate fudge with vanilla frosting next to a tall glass of ice cold milk.

Why hello there...

I can't help it.
When a woman wants chocolate they subsconciously emit "choco-waves" that my highly calibrated women desires collectifer/grantifier recieves.
It's a gift that I can't turn off.

Also, if I was a woman in a previous life. I must've been one fugly bitch.

I'm telling ya. It's very sensitive.

Hey for the life of me I can not figure out what that is pictured next to your face.

A tambourine? The lid to a pressure cooker? One of those magnifying mirrors?
Maybe a wormhole generator?

I'm stumped.

I wouldn't have guessed.

You shoulda said tambourine and gone on to tell us how you live a double life as a exotic fudge cake lovin', canine motorist promotin', belly dancer.

Yeah, that woulda been sweet.

AH-HAH!

So you're a mirror dancer huh. Doya use a brush and sing as well?

i got more present then you i beat you yeah.

=O I DEMAND A RECOUNT!

Oh yes! More pics please. :)

Christmas was the usual..... Hung out with the folks, got cash. That's what happens when you're the only creative gift-giver you know. I would tell you what I bought with the money, but you'll think I'm insane.

Overall: Not bad at all.

P.S. - Thanks for the well-wishes in your last PM. Also, OMFG..... Conor has gotten so big! I still have the baby pic you sent me. Wow, they grow up fast.

Okay, I'll tell you what I used the money for. I collect flashlights.... especially high-end, specialized models. The Rolls Royce of lights is the Surefire M6 model. (It's like power of the sun in your fist! I got mine at a bit of a discount. Only $349 dollars brand new.

Here's a link:
www.Surefire.com

Just click on "flashlights" and scroll down til you see it. :)

More like 3rd degree burns. :P

Aww, you understand. ^_^

THE ELECTION WAS RIGGED. YOU KNOW IT.

phew caps.

LOL

It's designed to provide a tight beam.... from really far away. :D

LOL ..... I like discussing lights. You should see my collection. Ironically, I'm not the only one with a collection of lights on NG. :D

Also..... can't use an M6 as a spotlight beam. It's far too intense.

Nope! No spotlights in my collection. Mostly because hand-held spotlights tend to be big and bulky. But I know where to get one! Sears Hardware has a Dorcy model that's rated at 3 million candlepower, for only $30. That one would work well for you. :)

Ah yes, good old Wade. I guess he did make it obvious that he collects lights. Ironically, Wade and I are into different types of lights. I prefer tactical lights that run off of CR123 cells. He prefers rechargeable models with multi-modes.

This be fun. :D

Ask me anything about lights! I know as much as Wade.... But I have more free time to respond. :)

Hmm.... Things I could tell you.... Let's see.

1- Which company makes the highest quality lights out there?
2- Best keychain light?
3- Best way to modify a 2AA Mini-Maglite so that it gives good performance?
4- Possible flashlight related jokes you can use in your routine. ;)

I see you baby.

Shakin' that ass.

Shakin' that ass.

Happy Valentines Day!!!

Thong or bikini today, and also how many times (you know what I'm talking about)

Stage lights are not a popular topic of discussion among those who collect lights.... Mostly because you can't grab one of them, and shove them into a pocket.

But..... The topic of wives of "flashaholics," IS a popular topic. I could give you tons of materials you could use in your comedy act. You could tell the audience that your husband collects flashlights..... I could feed you some great jokes about that. That info is common knowledge in the flashaholic community. But most folks would laugh their ass off at this hobby.

I think that's a better way of helping you with your act. Let me know if you're interested in a new comedy routine. I can PM you a good act.

Cool.

Give me a couple of days to get my thoughts together. I caught a cold, and the NyQuil is seriously getting to me. I'm PM you later, with some funny material.

BTW, I can't use the material I'll be PMing you because it's only funny if told from the perspective of a married, female, comedian. (You'll see what I mean, after I PM you).

Check your PM inbox! :D